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E WUNT LENK 2 GEN 2 ANFRENKA

1 10.27.11
LABIA BOWTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FANCY VAG, HAPPY BABY!!!
I am just listing my dream BAND NAMES!  
FANCY BABY MONOCLE VAGINA!
fuckyeahcumdumpster

LABIA BOWTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FANCY VAG, HAPPY BABY!!!

I am just listing my dream BAND NAMES!  

FANCY BABY MONOCLE VAGINA!

fuckyeahcumdumpster

4 03.25.11
Today i$ an EXCITING DAY!  Thi$ i$ my fir$t ever WORLD EXCLU$IVE!
Eyeball$, BEHOLD: The cover art for KE$HA’$ BRAND NEW ALBUM!
Lookin’ good, Ke$h!  Glad 2 $ee you put all of your “WE R WHO WE TARD” $$$$ into a fancy fuckin’ new MINIVAN!  And ur BLACK BOYFRIEND i$ THE $HIT!  I am JELLY like a $andwich that doe$n’t have any PEANUT BUTTER on it becau$e I am ALLERGIC!  Unfortunately, I don’t have the OUTDOOR $KILL$ nece$$ary 2 $ucce$$fully live in a CAR PARK like you, and $o I will 5ever be le$$ fortunate :(

Today i$ an EXCITING DAY!  Thi$ i$ my fir$t ever WORLD EXCLU$IVE!

Eyeball$, BEHOLD: The cover art for KE$HA’$ BRAND NEW ALBUM!

Lookin’ good, Ke$h!  Glad 2 $ee you put all of your “WE R WHO WE TARD” $$$$ into a fancy fuckin’ new MINIVAN!  And ur BLACK BOYFRIEND i$ THE $HIT!  I am JELLY like a $andwich that doe$n’t have any PEANUT BUTTER on it becau$e I am ALLERGIC!  Unfortunately, I don’t have the OUTDOOR $KILL$ nece$$ary 2 $ucce$$fully live in a CAR PARK like you, and $o I will 5ever be le$$ fortunate :(

IN WHICH I ILLUSTRATE WHY I NO LONGER RIDE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
Oh my GOD, poor people are SO TACKY!  You would never see these kinds of boob-nanigans in my fucking DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED ASTON MARTIN!
These penniless grendels are probably getting off at the stop marked INTERSECTION OF WONKY PENDULUMS AVENUE and CLASSLESS CRAB-BAGS DRIVE!
UGH, FUCKING WOOL-LINED DENIM JACKETS… R U SRS BITCH?!

IN WHICH I ILLUSTRATE WHY I NO LONGER RIDE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

Oh my GOD, poor people are SO TACKY!  You would never see these kinds of boob-nanigans in my fucking DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED ASTON MARTIN!

These penniless grendels are probably getting off at the stop marked INTERSECTION OF WONKY PENDULUMS AVENUE and CLASSLESS CRAB-BAGS DRIVE!

UGH, FUCKING WOOL-LINED DENIM JACKETS… R U SRS BITCH?!

Oh, hello!  I didn’t even see you cum in!  Did you know I just got back from a SEXY BEACH VACATION?!  Here are some of my “HOLIDAY SNAPS” as they say in JOLLY OL’ ENGLAND, where I am based… in my dreams!
Some have said my p33n0r is impressive.  Some have even suggested I not call it a p33n0r and instead call it a P99N0R!  That’s a lot of inches, but I think you can HANDLE IT!  You look loose like a NELLY FURTADO ALBUM!
ANYWAY, not to BRAG, but my DRAGON SLAYER got a lot of attention on the beach… mostly from SEAGULLS and even a few SAND CRABS!  Don’t be jealous like a BEAR, just be happy for me and my AMAZING P99N0R BEACH FASHUNZ!
PS - If you are wondering why my skin changes color in the photos, it is simply because my TRUE BLACKNESS began to reveal itself after spending a few hours in the sun.  I UNDERSTAND HOW SKIN COLOR WORKS, because after all I am ONE SEXY NUBIAN VISION, GUUUURL!

Oh, hello!  I didn’t even see you cum in!  Did you know I just got back from a SEXY BEACH VACATION?!  Here are some of my “HOLIDAY SNAPS” as they say in JOLLY OL’ ENGLAND, where I am based… in my dreams!

Some have said my p33n0r is impressive.  Some have even suggested I not call it a p33n0r and instead call it a P99N0R!  That’s a lot of inches, but I think you can HANDLE IT!  You look loose like a NELLY FURTADO ALBUM!

ANYWAY, not to BRAG, but my DRAGON SLAYER got a lot of attention on the beach… mostly from SEAGULLS and even a few SAND CRABS!  Don’t be jealous like a BEAR, just be happy for me and my AMAZING P99N0R BEACH FASHUNZ!

PS - If you are wondering why my skin changes color in the photos, it is simply because my TRUE BLACKNESS began to reveal itself after spending a few hours in the sun.  I UNDERSTAND HOW SKIN COLOR WORKS, because after all I am ONE SEXY NUBIAN VISION, GUUUURL!

THIS 1 GOEZ OUT 2 ALL MY JAPANESE FRIENDZ WITH SAMURAI SWORD BEWBZ AFFECTED BY THE DEVASTATING EARTHQUAKE + SUENAMY!
PS - I am not INSENSITIVE, I am just HILARIOUS + EASILY AROUSED!

THIS 1 GOEZ OUT 2 ALL MY JAPANESE FRIENDZ WITH SAMURAI SWORD BEWBZ AFFECTED BY THE DEVASTATING EARTHQUAKE + SUENAMY!

PS - I am not INSENSITIVE, I am just HILARIOUS + EASILY AROUSED!

(via wwia0-deactivated20110717)

2735 03.13.11
OHAI GUYZ!  I know it has been many BLUE CORN MOONS since I last blasted my nips all up in this bitch.  Perhaps you were wondering where I had gone?!?!?!?!?!
Well, not to give too much infoz about my top secret identity away, but did you know I am the dictator of a Middle Eastern country?!?!  I won’t tell you which one, but I will say it sounds a lot like LABIA (makes sense, amirite?!?!).
N-E-Wayz, when in recent times I haven’t been shopping for fantastic fashions or murdering my own people in the streetz, I have been SUPA BIZZY stocking up on all sorts of dicks, vaginas, and breasticlez.
To make amends for my absence, here is a gif of a lady with GIANT BAZONGAS getting the morning’s breakfast ready for her adopted children and also for her lesbian life partner, Cheryl, who works as a HIGH POWERED ATTORNEY for a FLANNEL CONGLOMERATE. 
MMMMMM I sure could go for a big glass of milk right now, but unfortunately I have that disease where I am allergic to the stuff: Osteoporosis!  Instead, I will just sip SOME WINE as I look out the window at the blood flowing in the streets of my country and think “Hmmm, that blood looks a lot like WINE!”
[wwiao]

OHAI GUYZ!  I know it has been many BLUE CORN MOONS since I last blasted my nips all up in this bitch.  Perhaps you were wondering where I had gone?!?!?!?!?!

Well, not to give too much infoz about my top secret identity away, but did you know I am the dictator of a Middle Eastern country?!?!  I won’t tell you which one, but I will say it sounds a lot like LABIA (makes sense, amirite?!?!).

N-E-Wayz, when in recent times I haven’t been shopping for fantastic fashions or murdering my own people in the streetz, I have been SUPA BIZZY stocking up on all sorts of dicks, vaginas, and breasticlez.

To make amends for my absence, here is a gif of a lady with GIANT BAZONGAS getting the morning’s breakfast ready for her adopted children and also for her lesbian life partner, Cheryl, who works as a HIGH POWERED ATTORNEY for a FLANNEL CONGLOMERATE. 

MMMMMM I sure could go for a big glass of milk right now, but unfortunately I have that disease where I am allergic to the stuff: Osteoporosis!  Instead, I will just sip SOME WINE as I look out the window at the blood flowing in the streets of my country and think “Hmmm, that blood looks a lot like WINE!”

[wwiao]

(via wwia0-deactivated20110717)

nepiophilia   2152 03.12.11
TODAY I HAS A SAD PEEN!
Mah frend KMOPZICILLIN go away n duznt cum bak!  Did she died, u ask?  No, she did not died.  She eeted 2 much cheez, tho, and nao has a sick n must go awai.
I CREY, my loyal followerz.  I crey sew hard!  I crey so hard my peen creys tearz of yellow pee-pee!  I onlee hope that these tearz land on the face of a wooden doll WHO COMES TO LIFE LIKE IN THE MOVIES and I can has noo frend?  But I rilly dunt want noo frend.  
Plz REGLOB IF U CREY @ my sad storii…

TODAY I HAS A SAD PEEN!

Mah frend KMOPZICILLIN go away n duznt cum bak!  Did she died, u ask?  No, she did not died.  She eeted 2 much cheez, tho, and nao has a sick n must go awai.

I CREY, my loyal followerz.  I crey sew hard!  I crey so hard my peen creys tearz of yellow pee-pee!  I onlee hope that these tearz land on the face of a wooden doll WHO COMES TO LIFE LIKE IN THE MOVIES and I can has noo frend?  But I rilly dunt want noo frend.  

Plz REGLOB IF U CREY @ my sad storii…

2 02.03.11

OH LAWD GIRL, WURR DID YA GET THOSE RHINOCEROS THIGHZ?

ohlawdgirl:

4 ALL OF UR BOOBS, PEEN, AND VAG NEEDS, PLEASE VISIT OUR PARTNER, BOOBSPEENVAG.TUMBLR.COM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TUMBLR OF ALL TIME EXCEPT FOR THE ONE ABOUT THE BEARS!

I like this lady in the gif because she isn’t afraid to say “I WOULD LIKE SOME LARDONS WITH MY FAMILY-SIZED HELPING OF BACON FAT AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO WEAR PANTS IN MY KITCHEN!”

PS - I call her butt “Rumples.”  Like this bear I know.  Except I would totally get stuck between those two boulders and chop my arm off like James Franco (in that movie about the guy who got stuck in the rocks and chopped his arm off) before I ever let RUMPLES THE FUCKING BEAR GET NEAR MY HONEYPOT!

ohlawdgirl   2 02.03.11
I HAVE RECEIVED MANY REQUESTS FOR MORE ANIME ON THIS BLOG!*
*OK, I have received no requests for more anime on this blog.  What is anime, anyway?  Is it just JAPANESE CARTOONS?  I already have collected ALL THE POKEMONS so I don’t get it, what’s the point?
Back to the matter at hand: THIS PHOTO!
This is a photo of the FOUNTAIN P33N0R OF YOUTH!  See how these naked faeries (cool people spell fairies like that: FACT!) are awash in the neverending flow of salty youth serum?  DO THEY LOOK OLD TO YOU?  They do not!  In fact, they are “Forever Young!”  FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOUNG!  Song interlude:




CREYING! CRYING!
Anyway, this photo is an accurate dePEENtion of nearly all male genitalia.  SEE THE VEINS!  If this peen were a topographic map, it would be saying that this general area has MOUNTAINS THAT ARE HIGH AS FUCK! And if you don’t have some bitch-ass faeries with Nicki Minaj/Lil’-Kim-in-the-’90s hair and what I assume to be very sharp and tiny teeth biting your balls and your shaft and your head and sticking their freakishly tiny hands down your pee-hole then I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW YOU!
The one on the right, she reminds me: The next time you go to hug a tree, YOU HIPPY, you are going to wish it were a GIANT PENIS.
FOREVER YOUNG! 
PS - Rub some semenz on your face, it is good for the skin and will make you look young even though you are living forever/FOREVER YOUNG.  If you have no semenz to rub your face, try rainbow chip frosting instead.

I HAVE RECEIVED MANY REQUESTS FOR MORE ANIME ON THIS BLOG!*

*OK, I have received no requests for more anime on this blog.  What is anime, anyway?  Is it just JAPANESE CARTOONS?  I already have collected ALL THE POKEMONS so I don’t get it, what’s the point?

Back to the matter at hand: THIS PHOTO!

This is a photo of the FOUNTAIN P33N0R OF YOUTH!  See how these naked faeries (cool people spell fairies like that: FACT!) are awash in the neverending flow of salty youth serum?  DO THEY LOOK OLD TO YOU?  They do not!  In fact, they are “Forever Young!”  FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOUNG!  Song interlude:

CREYING! CRYING!

Anyway, this photo is an accurate dePEENtion of nearly all male genitalia.  SEE THE VEINS!  If this peen were a topographic map, it would be saying that this general area has MOUNTAINS THAT ARE HIGH AS FUCK! And if you don’t have some bitch-ass faeries with Nicki Minaj/Lil’-Kim-in-the-’90s hair and what I assume to be very sharp and tiny teeth biting your balls and your shaft and your head and sticking their freakishly tiny hands down your pee-hole then I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW YOU!

The one on the right, she reminds me: The next time you go to hug a tree, YOU HIPPY, you are going to wish it were a GIANT PENIS.

FOREVER YOUNG! 

PS - Rub some semenz on your face, it is good for the skin and will make you look young even though you are living forever/FOREVER YOUNG.  If you have no semenz to rub your face, try rainbow chip frosting instead.

OMG, you guys, I looooooooovveeeeeeeeeeeeee Lil’ Kim, but I am somewhat INTIMIDATED by her vagina!  I mean, it is always so HUNGRAY, and here it is seen eating her PANTS!!!  
Here are some things Lil’ Kim has called her black raspberry (editor’s note: she has not, to my knowledge,  used the phrase “black raspberry.”  HUGE OVERSIGHT!) in her songs.
***This is not an exhaustive list because, like, I don’t have that kind of time.  She mentions her MAGNIFICENT MINGE a lot!!!***
Twat [as in “lick up in my” - ed]
Pussy
Bushy [also what I called the last president - ed]
Poom Poom Nanny Nanny Punanny Donny [just the right amount of syllables - ed]
The Middle [as opposed to the side - ed]
Tootsie Pop [as in “how many licks ‘til you get to the center of…” - ed]
Coot [SO CLOSE TO “CUTE!” - ed]
The Kitten
Kit Kat
Cherry […Cherry Boom Boom - ed/GodGa]
Coochie
That Thing
Magic Clit
Chocha
The Cleanest, Meanest Penis [Vagina Dentata? - ed]
Ice Cream/Tasti D-Lite
Meat-Slinger [Loves it, but think she should take it to the next level with “Meat Catapult” - ed]
Tighest, Rightest Vagina [I won’t disagree - ed]
Goodies
Beehive [OUCHIES!!! - ed]
Niagra
Kitty Cat [meow - ed]
Kitty Box [clumpy cat excrement: sexy or sexiest? - ed]
Potion [OMG MAGIC! - ed]
Box [“I’ll drown you when I’m wet like the ocean,” she says - ed]
The Cake [“just lick the plate” and “you know you can’t talk when your mouth is full” - ed]
Honeybun
My Lips [“taste the honey” She really likes the “bees in my vagina” metaphor!  YOU GO, GURL!]
I HAVE TO STOP NOW BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY FOR SOME HONEY AND TASTI D-LITE!  I BETTER EAT IT BEFORE IT EATS ME!

OMG, you guys, I looooooooovveeeeeeeeeeeeee Lil’ Kim, but I am somewhat INTIMIDATED by her vagina!  I mean, it is always so HUNGRAY, and here it is seen eating her PANTS!!!  

Here are some things Lil’ Kim has called her black raspberry (editor’s note: she has not, to my knowledge,  used the phrase “black raspberry.”  HUGE OVERSIGHT!) in her songs.

***This is not an exhaustive list because, like, I don’t have that kind of time.  She mentions her MAGNIFICENT MINGE a lot!!!***

Twat [as in “lick up in my” - ed]

Pussy

Bushy [also what I called the last president - ed]

Poom Poom Nanny Nanny Punanny Donny [just the right amount of syllables - ed]

The Middle [as opposed to the side - ed]

Tootsie Pop [as in “how many licks ‘til you get to the center of…” - ed]

Coot [SO CLOSE TO “CUTE!” - ed]

The Kitten

Kit Kat

Cherry […Cherry Boom Boom - ed/GodGa]

Coochie

That Thing

Magic Clit

Chocha

The Cleanest, Meanest Penis [Vagina Dentata? - ed]

Ice Cream/Tasti D-Lite

Meat-Slinger [Loves it, but think she should take it to the next level with “Meat Catapult” - ed]

Tighest, Rightest Vagina [I won’t disagree - ed]

Goodies

Beehive [OUCHIES!!! - ed]

Niagra

Kitty Cat [meow - ed]

Kitty Box [clumpy cat excrement: sexy or sexiest? - ed]

Potion [OMG MAGIC! - ed]

Box [“I’ll drown you when I’m wet like the ocean,” she says - ed]

The Cake [“just lick the plate” and “you know you can’t talk when your mouth is full” - ed]

Honeybun

My Lips [“taste the honey” She really likes the “bees in my vagina” metaphor!  YOU GO, GURL!]

I HAVE TO STOP NOW BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY FOR SOME HONEY AND TASTI D-LITE!  I BETTER EAT IT BEFORE IT EATS ME!

35 01.25.11
No thanks, Vagcakes, I am watching my CARBS and SUGAR INTAKE.  Oh, what the hell, just one, then!
BAKER’S HINT: Offering Vagcakes to friends and family at parties is fine, but it may make some uncomfortable.  To make a truly gender-blind desert SMORGASBORD, one should consider providing CREAM-OOZING CANNOLI in addition to the Vagcakes.  Fun for boys and girls everywhere, and, trust me, the birthday clown will thank you, too!!!

No thanks, Vagcakes, I am watching my CARBS and SUGAR INTAKE.  Oh, what the hell, just one, then!

BAKER’S HINT: Offering Vagcakes to friends and family at parties is fine, but it may make some uncomfortable.  To make a truly gender-blind desert SMORGASBORD, one should consider providing CREAM-OOZING CANNOLI in addition to the Vagcakes.  Fun for boys and girls everywhere, and, trust me, the birthday clown will thank you, too!!!

BAD TOUCH!  BAD TOUCH!!!
Oh, STEFANO AND DOMENICO, why do you continue to allow this PENIS TORTURE to occur backstage at your FASHION SHOWS?  Would former D&G model and muse ISABELLA ROSSELLINI approve?!?!?!  NO, she would not!
I am now calling for an end to all PENIS BULLYING!  It breaks my heart to think of peni, large and small, being TERRORIZED on playgrounds across the world, dongs being thwacked in supermarket lines, dicks being debased in the dark corners of sex clubs.  BREAKS MY HEART!
Let it be known that the Coalition of Official Cock Kin Raising Issues and Nailing the Guilty (COCKRING) calls for all such HEINOUS acts to be stopped immediately.  My contacts at the DEPARTMENT OF HOMECOCK SECURITY will find you, Penis Bullies, and they will make you SORRY!

BAD TOUCH!  BAD TOUCH!!!

Oh, STEFANO AND DOMENICO, why do you continue to allow this PENIS TORTURE to occur backstage at your FASHION SHOWS?  Would former D&G model and muse ISABELLA ROSSELLINI approve?!?!?!  NO, she would not!

I am now calling for an end to all PENIS BULLYING!  It breaks my heart to think of peni, large and small, being TERRORIZED on playgrounds across the world, dongs being thwacked in supermarket lines, dicks being debased in the dark corners of sex clubs.  BREAKS MY HEART!

Let it be known that the Coalition of Official Cock Kin Raising Issues and Nailing the Guilty (COCKRING) calls for all such HEINOUS acts to be stopped immediately.  My contacts at the DEPARTMENT OF HOMECOCK SECURITY will find you, Penis Bullies, and they will make you SORRY!

I see someone stopped by the hair extension kiosk on the second floor of the mall!  YOU GO, VAGINA RABBI!  You GO!  I always want to stop there on my way to ORANGE JULIUS, but I am too shy!  I wonder, “What if this person judges me once I tell them I want this synthetic hair extension not for my head hair but for my VAG HAIR?!”  I am then forced to eat my feelings at Orange Julius and also PRETZEL TIME and sometimes HOTDOG ON A STICK.
Now, let us enjoy a PONDERMENT together: I’m thinking ORAL SEX here would be rather interesting.  I imagine it would be just like making out with a rabbi (which I have done many a time), except instead of a regular mouth, the rabbi’s mouth is vertical and, hopefully, doesn’t taste of PRETZEL TIME (which is where I meet most of my make-out rabbis).  ANYWAY…I am ready for you to read me something from the TORAH, Vagina Rabbi, so plz read on!

I see someone stopped by the hair extension kiosk on the second floor of the mall!  YOU GO, VAGINA RABBI!  You GO!  I always want to stop there on my way to ORANGE JULIUS, but I am too shy!  I wonder, “What if this person judges me once I tell them I want this synthetic hair extension not for my head hair but for my VAG HAIR?!”  I am then forced to eat my feelings at Orange Julius and also PRETZEL TIME and sometimes HOTDOG ON A STICK.

Now, let us enjoy a PONDERMENT together: I’m thinking ORAL SEX here would be rather interesting.  I imagine it would be just like making out with a rabbi (which I have done many a time), except instead of a regular mouth, the rabbi’s mouth is vertical and, hopefully, doesn’t taste of PRETZEL TIME (which is where I meet most of my make-out rabbis).  ANYWAY…I am ready for you to read me something from the TORAH, Vagina Rabbi, so plz read on!

killaxheart   35 01.16.11
So vaginal art is a thing.  Let me take you on a tour of the historical facts.
Vaginal art began in the late century, after the World War in Vietnam I.  When soldiers returned home with no arms and no legs, they needed to learn new ways to paint portraits of their wives while suffering from PRED (Post Romantic Eating Disorders).  Tragically, they just couldn’t think of a way!  So the wives traveled by horse and carriage to see the doctors in the city.  After a free LEECHING, they conferred with the doctors about WHAT TO DO.  That is when the idea of sticking a paint brush up one’s twat was born.  Another short leeching later, the wives returned home and said “Hey, husbands, let me prove to you that you don’t need arms or legs to paint!  I’m going to use my vagina!”  But it was too late, because the husbands had shot themselves due to their severe psychological issues.
Today, vaginal art is used for a variety of purposes both artistic and vaginal.  I have applied for a grant with the SUMMER’S EVE/VAGISIL FOUNDATION and I hope, with their help, my work will be seen across the world and featured on television programs such as THE VIEW.

So vaginal art is a thing.  Let me take you on a tour of the historical facts.

Vaginal art began in the late century, after the World War in Vietnam I.  When soldiers returned home with no arms and no legs, they needed to learn new ways to paint portraits of their wives while suffering from PRED (Post Romantic Eating Disorders).  Tragically, they just couldn’t think of a way!  So the wives traveled by horse and carriage to see the doctors in the city.  After a free LEECHING, they conferred with the doctors about WHAT TO DO.  That is when the idea of sticking a paint brush up one’s twat was born.  Another short leeching later, the wives returned home and said “Hey, husbands, let me prove to you that you don’t need arms or legs to paint!  I’m going to use my vagina!”  But it was too late, because the husbands had shot themselves due to their severe psychological issues.

Today, vaginal art is used for a variety of purposes both artistic and vaginal.  I have applied for a grant with the SUMMER’S EVE/VAGISIL FOUNDATION and I hope, with their help, my work will be seen across the world and featured on television programs such as THE VIEW.